The blog I forgot

Thanks to the memories on Facebook I got to be reminded that I had a blog LOL Silly isn't it. I pour my thoughts out and forget I did it.

How times have changed. We are now Matthews4. Have an amazing son named Silas Layton Matthews who is now 4. My beautiful daughter Willow Dawn Matthews is almost 10.

I am still working at the Yadkin Valley Chamber going on 12 years and I no longer sell real estate. Still married to Shane Matthews going on 13 years. It has been an interested 8 years since my last blog.

I am a bit changed, maybe not the best wife anymore and learned I can't forgive as easily as I had thought I could. I haven't cried in 4 years - the last cry I had was pregnant, just finished a sonogram to tell us we had a healthy baby boy and my husband yelled at me like a crazy man outside of the doctors office. I cried for sometime before I could even drive the car and decided from then on I would not cry over him again. Unfortunately I can't cry for anything. I started building that wall. It is a fortress. I am on an anti depressant and anti anxiety meds. I can't and am not blaming it all on Shane. He is a good man and one of the most brilliant men I know but I know I can't make someone be happy and love their life. I am only in control of my own and that is where I will leave it.

 I am on a journey this year to learn to heal my mind and be healthier. I am continuing to strive to be a good role model for my children and make a difference in my community.

 I am working on my 4th Girls Empowering Girls Symposium which I started for my daughter Willow. This has been something I am proud of.

 I have some amazing friends who have stuck by me for all these years and some amazing new friends too. I am a blessed woman. I think I will continue this blog because if only for me I have really enjoyed reading where I was so many years ago and I look forward to what is to come.